


Forever in debt to your priceless advice.

by weeziewoo



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Character Death, Deceit is called Dee, Depression, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Suicide, Suicide Attempt, okay but you really shouldn't read this if you trigger easily, sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 13:13:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17023245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weeziewoo/pseuds/weeziewoo
Summary: He doesn’t think, he doesn’t feel.I don't want to spoil anything else so yeah.Don't read if you're triggered by suicide.





	Forever in debt to your priceless advice.

**Author's Note:**

> *Slaps thigh* Guess who's back? Okay so this is a bad fic to write when you've been MIA since the 25th of November. It's been twenty one days, but whatever.

He leant against the door frame, his knees tucked up to his chest. His fingers are in his ears, and his eyes are screwed shut. He knows he’s crying, of course he’s crying. He’s always crying.

_They don’t love you anymore._

He thinks it’s true, they’re sick of him, and they’re about ready to send him back to Dee.

_You’re nothing but a dark side._

NoNoNoNo that wasn’t true- he was only trying to protect them.

Patton didn’t have a bad bone in his body, but the look of disappointment in his eyes was enough to send Virgil flying off the handle.

_Get out of here, you don’t belong here. Leave. NOW!_

He’s going to be sick, but the bathroom is out there. Where his friends are.

_They aren’t your friends._

He can feel the bile rising, and he does nothing to combat the sick as it garbles at the top of his throat. He can taste the sick in his mouth, he can feel it too. He tries to swallow it back down, but it kept finding a way to push back. He’s going to be sick, and even the trash can is too far away.

He ends up vomiting onto the nearest patch of wooden flooring, the scent makes his stomach turn even more than it already is.

_You’re so fucking useless!_

“Stop it.” Virgil says out loud, his voice cracks-

_So. Fucking. Useless._

“No- shut up. Shut up. Shut up.” Virgil whispers, repeating the mantra over and over.

He’s broken, nothing more than damaged goods.

_If you really are damaged goods, you should throw yourself out… The window._

His eyes drift over to the window sill, he can see the latch, he could go over there.

He knows he’s on the second floor, and his reasoning tells him that jumping from this height will probably do nothing except for break a few limbs and get him put on suicide watch.

He remains where he is. He knows he could sneak out the window as easily as he could jump from it. He could easily find a tall building, with an open roof.

An open roof that he could throw himself from.

_Do it then- learn to fucking fly._

He doesn’t even know if he will die, if he throws himself onto the pavement, from a hundred feet up. He knows it’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop.

_You’ll never know if you don’t try._

Well, that statement wasn’t wrong. He wouldn’t know if he didn’t try. But if he didn’t die, he wouldn’t be able to face Roman, Patton and Logan. They’d know what he did. They’d know what he thought of himself.

_They’d know, but they wouldn’t care._

Virgil almost congratulates the voice in his head for making two valid points. But he’s sure the smug bastard already knows.

He knew that he could try, not could- should. He should try.

Why not try and end the pain and the suffering, why would you bother living anymore when there was an easy way out.

_You don’t have to bother- just do it already._

He nods, and stiffly rises from his spot on the floor, he strolls over to the window, shoulders taut.

He shimmies the latch and pushes the window open. He’s thankful for Patton’s dumb trellis, it’s easy to latch onto and climb down.

Once his feet hit the floor, he runs.

He runs until he’s at the bus stop, he knows if he wants to jump from a high building the easiest place to do so is the nearest city, as the suburban town houses peak at three stories maximum.

He knows what he’s doing is wrong, but the adrenaline is pumping hard, and the voice in his head is egging him on.

He buys a return ticket, he has no intention of needing it- but if this plan fails then he’ll need it for sure.

As he sits on the bus, his phone is blowing up with texts. They got into his room, and they’re pleading for him to come back. He ignores them.

The drive to the city isn’t peaceful, the soft green scenery is normally enough to calm his anxiety. But today the voice is working extra hard, so he wouldn’t forget, he was here to end it- not to go sightseeing.

When he’s finally there, he goes to the mall. It’s a tall building, with five floors. Fifty feet might just be enough, he muses. He knows he can get to the roof, there’s a small café up there which he used to go to when he was a kid.

He’s sprinting up escalators, he can’t wait any longer. He’s finally going to stop this madness.

He reaches the rooftop and comes to a halt at the railings. The sun is shining high above him, and he looks down. The sidewalk below him calls his name, this side of the building faces away from the city centre, so the path below is seldom used.

He doesn’t give himself time to think, he doesn’t give the patrons of the café time to react.

He vaults over the railing, and he falls.

He’s falling fast, accelerating at nine point eight one metres per second squared.

Maybe he’ll reach terminal velocity, or maybe he’ll hit the pavement before then. He closes his eyes as the wind whips around him.

People from the café run to the railing, unable to fathom what they’d just seen. Their curious eyes watch in horror as he glides through the air.

He doesn’t think, he doesn’t feel.

His body crashes against the sidewalk, there’s no pain and his consciousness fades away…

 


End file.
